A series about generational wisdom and the lessons from my parents.
My parents have always prioritized spending quality time with me and my children, imparting wisdom that inspires and guides me to follow my heart. TiTi and Dude, your lessons are invaluable and have equipped me to pass on this knowledge to my children, to future generations, and share them with others. Your wisdom is my anchor during times of uncertainty, always bringing me back to what truly matters—family and the memories we create together.
Your undivided presence is one of the greatest gifts you can offer your child, spouse, or anyone close to you. The next time your child runs up and asks if you want to play or if you could help them with something, instead of asking for “just five more minutes,” embrace them immediately, put away your phone, and disconnect from work. This is how we show them that they truly matter. Let them feel that they are more important than any task at hand.
Sadly, in today’s fast-paced society, where work often precedes everything else, these meaningful moments of genuine connection are slowly slipping away. Take a moment right now and ask yourself how frequently do you give your children undivided attention? Notice what stops you from fully engaging with them. Is it your habit of answering work emails during family hours? Or do you end up doom-scrolling when you’re tired and frustrated? A game you’re playing to relax? Or even trying to stay updated with the 24-7 news feed?
Slow down and reflect on these distractions, reevaluate what matters, and set aside the things that don’t. I can’t remember a day that my mom didn’t stop and take the time to ask how my day was and to truly listen. She is so good at it that she makes me look bad, and I love it because she continues teaching me how to be an incredible mother and the power of never giving up. My favorite one-liner I hear daily from her is, “We’ve got this.” When she is around, we do! My daughter would tell you she is much more confident with TiTi driving the ship.
Dude likes to say: The biggest investment I ever made, and the most important investment I ever made, is also the most rewarding investment I ever made – MY FAMILY! Tell your wife/husband, partner, parents, and children that you love them more often.
One of the most common regrets people have is, “I wish I could tell them I love them, one more time.”
They remind me that material things are fleeting, and in the end, the memories we cherish genuinely matter. It’s about the conversations, images, smells, and songs that linger in our minds and bodies and the quiet voice of wisdom that guides us. These moments and lessons are everlasting, continuing to guide us even in their absence.
They also remind me to slow down. The world moves too fast, time goes by too quickly, and the only way to make these everlasting memories is to slow down and be in the moment—a lesson I’m still working on.
Their advice extends to being present wherever you are: fully engage at work when you’re there, and when you’re home, truly be at home. It’s easy for the two to intermingle in this new work-from-home world. It’s just one more email, after all.
Spend quality time with your children, engaging in activities they love. The key is to be present and disconnect from distractions like your phone, work, or housework. My mom is relentless! She won’t stop until I put my phone down. Thank you. I didn’t realize how much this mattered.
A segment from my dad’s speech at my wedding.” I used to ask Kathy why we were dragging our children all over the country on what our kids would call ‘another dysfunctional family vacation,’ she would always say we were creating memories (I would roll my eyes and look at my wallet). Kathy taught me that events like these have to end, but when they do, another sense takes over your memory, as Mitch Album says best.
I can’t take Carron to school on spelling days again, coach her basketball team, drive her across the country to grandma’s house, bike down Mount Haleakala, or dance with her at her wedding. Kathy, you taught me that it was OK because your memory becomes your partner—you hold it, you nurture it, and it never goes away.
The only life lesson my dad gave me about marriage was to marry someone happy—you can’t make people happy.
Every day, I strive to emulate my mom, who exemplifies handling life gracefully. No matter the day’s challenges, she teaches us that we can determine how it plays out. She encourages us to gather our strength, count our blessings, and envelop ourselves in love.
I will end this post the way my father ended my wedding speech with the help of the Poet E.E. Cummings: I want to tell you what I did with it:
I carry your heart with me; I carry it in my heart
I am never without it; anywhere I go, you go, my dear
And whatever is done only by me, is you’re doing my darling
I fear, no fate , for you are my fate, my sweet
I want no world, for beautiful, you are my world, my true
And it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
And whatever a sun will always sing to you
Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
Here is the root of the root, and the bud of the bud
And the sky of the sky of a tree called life
which grows higher than the soul can hope, and the mine can hide
And this is the wonder that keeps the stars apart
I carry your heart— I carry it in my heart.
